telltale
by fleeting heartbeat
Summary: turning away from someone always fits into the equation of love. [ joushiro&koumi au ]


**notes1:** first time trying slash :/  
**notes2:** greatly inspired by Eevee's Sugar Sickness —_go read it_  
**notes3:** not sure why the other choir members aren't excited about planking during hol pracs :/ am i the only one?

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_._

_._

_._

_if the world was on fire,_

_would you notice me?_

_._

_._

_._

_(can't you see i'm right next to you?)_

_._

_._

_._

He's all alone.

And you're watching him. You're watching him sit quietly in a corner of the world, pretending everything is fine, but only fools will believe him.

You go up to him and smile, hoping that he'll smile like he used to — but those are all fantasies. You are a fool in love, yet a fool not stupid enough to fall for his tricks. It's silly to reminisce the days he is full of laughter, the days he smiles at you like you are the centre of the universe.

_What is love? _he asks. Is it something that sparks between two individuals as their eyes meet from across the room? Or is it something that develops over time? And how do you know it's there? How do you know it is not platonic?

_Love is something beautiful_, you tell him. Love grows over time, but sometimes you just look at a person and you _know_ that it'll blossom. But that is only true, if the other reciprocates your feelings. If not, love can be heartbreaking and cruel — nothing like the romance of the prince and princess you once read in fairytales before bedtime when you were a little child.

_How do you know? _How are you so sure that this is the answer? How are you so sure that this is true? How are you sure that you aren't giving him wrong information?

You don't know what to say and he shakes his head, _No. You don't know after all._ Then he walks away from his little corner, and your mind barely registers that he's _walking away from you_.

_._

_._

_._

It's roughly a few years down the road.

You don't really know if you and her are best friends anymore. You two _used_ to be, and you told each other _everything._ But it seems like over time, after the Digital World, the both of you have just grown apart and started living your own lives like everyone else.

But it's okay, isn't it?

After all, the both of you wouldn't have met if you both hadn't been Chosen. You only fought together to save the world, and now that adventure is over. The fate of the Digital World is in peace for now — should there be a need for both of you to interact regularly? She has her friends, you have yours.

And one day, she calls unexpectedly, and you don't really know what to expect, but you pick up the phone anyway.

_Hello?_

The phone crackles, and you vaguely hear her muffled voice over static electricity, pressing the phone to your ear harder. _W-we broke up._

You know who she's referring to. However little contact you might have with her nowadays, word still travels around fast — especially when you're dating the lead singer of Teenage Wolves. You knew this was coming, and yet…

_Do you know what heartbreak feels like?_

_Yes, I do,_ you reply quietly. You've felt heartbreak one too many times, and you don't know how many more times someone can drop your heart on the ground and step on it carelessly before it shatters permanently. And everyone knows that once glass has been broken, you can't stick them back together.

The quiet sound of heartbreak rings in your ears from a distance, and it's all too familiar a sound.

_._

_._

_._

You try not to stare at the words on your phone as a lump forms in your throat.

_I'm sorry. I love you._

This is the first time he's ever been so blunt, so straightforward, and it almost makes you wonder if this is some kind of prank. But no— he's not the type to do these kinds of things, so it must be real. The problem is, things have changed. If this is a few years back, maybe what you're feeling now will be different. But now…

This is the boy you were once in love with.

This is the boy you are no longer in love with.

Pretending to love him would be wrong. It'd make him happy, but what about you? You have other obligations now, like _her_. You blink furiously at the screen, screaming at yourself _this is a dream_ over and over again, but the message doesn't go away.

Eventually, you see him on the streets, and he looks at you in a way you once thought he'd never do, but you simply walk past him, as if he's invisible. You don't know if this is right, but what choice do you have? You don't want to hurt him, you don't want to say no—

—but neither do you want to say yes.

You don't want to hear the sound of someone's heart breaking into pieces again, but the way things are going, it's unavoidable.

This is the girl you are in love with.

This is the boy you were in love with.

Both of them you hold close to your heart. You don't want to see either of them broken, but you don't know what to do either. _You love her, you love her—_

Why are you dwelling on this so much then? He is the one responsible for your heartbreak all those years ago. He never tells you anything, unlike her. He's always far away in his own world, trying to tackle his problems and fears on his own without a friend by his side — all the things you know you shouldn't do. He locks up his doubts inside him and never smiles anymore, _what more did you expect from him?_

But he's still your friend nonetheless, and he must have his reasons for not telling you. Maybe he's afraid. Maybe he's worried. Maybe…

Maybe he has loved you all along.

But you _loved_ him, you don't love him anymore — at least, not in that way. She has stolen your heart instead; he's fallen out of the race — or perhaps he never intended to be in the race from the start. Maybe he thought he'd get you in the end, because he's so sure of your love. But things don't often go your way in life, and that's reality.

The burden of breaking someone's heart is just too much to bear.

_Koushiro._

You are only halfway through the narrow street when he calls your name, stopping you amidst a flurry of merchants and carts rushing past.

_You love her, don't you?_

His tone is accusing, as if it's some sort of crime.

_Yes,_ you tell him. _I love her._

He looks disappointed and ashamed at once, and dares not meet your eyes. _Once, I thought…never mind._

There it is again.

You frown, and you want to say something about his behaviour, but you think twice and—_it doesn't matter, really._

This time, it is you who is walking away from him, and in the end, the sound that echoes from a thousand miles away is the sound of your heart breaking.

* * *

**end notes:** to be clear, this is in second person, from koushiro's pov (obviously). the love triangle here is jyou/koushiro/mimi. go figure.


End file.
